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Love and Support

I will admit that I’m a very stubborn fellow sometimes. As a matter of fact, very stubborn for about 49 years, but I’ve learned something since my last post here, “The Power of Persistence.” Another way to help you stay motivated is through the love and support from those around you.

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I have learned that a lot of people are what I call “Negative Motivators.” They believe that if you’re doing something not quite up to standards or perhaps choosing a career path in which they don’t believe you’ll be successful, the best way to get you either doing better or choosing a different path is through negative reinforcement. This may work for basic training in the military and seems to bring about positive results on “Hells Kitchen,” but both of these are examples of temporary situations. When it comes to this kind of treatment from your boss, friends, or worse, family members, it can only lead to disastrous results. A prime example of this is a person who may be overweight and their parent/s call them “fat” in an effort to shame them into losing weight. To be blunt, this method SUCKS!!

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l used to think the negative approach had its merits, but I’m changing my point of view. I have been on both sides of this argument and can tell you it’s very frustrating all the way around. I have recently been trying to lose some weight myself and I must say, the negative comments I have received with my weight gain, are not prime motivators. As a matter of fact, they’ve only motivated me to cutting the time I choose to spend with some people. My mother in a phone call recently said, “You look like you’ve lost some weight” after she watched a recent episode of my “BTS on the Road” web series. That motivated me more than any negative comment ever could.

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I must also say that the support from people on my career lately has been amazing! I guess after 25 years of entertaining, of struggling, my eyes have been opened to see the folks who enjoy what I do and ignore the too-often negative side of this business. This has motivated me to chase my dream with more enthusiasm than ever before. I believe that if you have a talent or knack for something, sometimes it may take time to present itself; people who say they are in your corner should give you the benefit of the doubt when you are pursuing your dream.

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Love and support can sometimes be the one thing that keeps someone going in between the victories that reinforce their confidence. I challenge everyone who reads this to be a rock for someone they care about. Someone they can come to and say “I don’t know if I can do this anymore, I should just give up.” Can you be the person who reminds them of the victories they have had up to this point? Can you look at them and say, “I’ll support you no matter what, but don’t give up yet, you can do it!!”?

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